Secret Admirer by DJ Jamison

Author:DJ Jamison [Jamison , DJ]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-06-24T16:00:00+00:00

12

Ace

I was a nervous mess when I knocked on Benji’s dorm room door. He’d texted, asking me to come over and talk. I’d rushed right over, even though I should be in a class. I’d do anything for a chance to fix things with him, even if it meant accepting that he only wanted friendship from me.

“Come in!” he called.

Benji lounged on his bed, leaning against the headboard with his computer on his lap. My eyes automatically went to his wrist. The friendship bracelet was still tied there, where I’d put it the night he slept in my bed. It was a presumptuous move, but he still wore it. That had to be a good sign, right?

“Hey,” I said, smiling sheepishly. “You’re wearing the bracelet. I thought you might throw it away.”

Benji glanced down at it. “Yeah. I was pretty mad, but this means a lot. I’m … not ready to throw that away.”

“Yeah, listen—”

“You listen,” he interrupted. Setting aside his laptop, he stood up and approached me. “You need to be completely honest with me.”

My head bobbed. “Yeah, of course. Completely honest.”

I expected a question about my actions, but he took me by surprise.

“Have you been with a guy before?”

“Uh. No.”

“But you’re really attracted to guys? To me? You weren’t just jerking me around.”

“I wouldn’t do that,” I said. This was difficult to talk about, especially with Benji, who’d come out as gay and known exactly who he was years ago. “I guess I’ve been … curious? For a while?”

“Are you asking?” he said, not willing to cut me a break. “You don’t sound sure.”

I huffed a laugh, ruffling my hair. “Yeah, I’m sure that I’ve been curious.” I glanced at him. “More than curious since seeing you again.”

He didn’t look convinced. “I’m your best friend’s little brother. You’ve always treated me like a kid.”

Clearing my throat, my gaze locked to his lips longingly. “You’re not a kid anymore,” I managed.

He made a thoughtful sound, his eyes running slowly over me. My skin prickled, my heart lurching hopefully. Was there still hope he was into me?

“I owe you an apology,” I blurted before I did something stupid like try to kiss him again.

Every time I tried to kiss him, something went horribly awry. The first time, our skin had barely brushed before he’d jerked away, startled, into the door. The second time, when I’d told him I was his secret admirer, was even worse. He’d pulled away before I could get anywhere as close to his lips as I craved.

Would today be any different? I wasn’t about to go for it without a very clear green light, no matter how much I wanted it to happen.

“Yeah, you do,” he said firmly. But then his tone softened. “But I owe you a thank you.”

I blinked. “For what?”

“That night with Jonas … I was too drunk, and you had my back. Took care of me. Thank you.”

That was a surprise. I’d thought maybe he hadn’t appreciated my interference. “I’ll always have your back.

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